We can either accept that the pain causing event has occurred, and allow ourselves to experience it or we can create an additional layer of pain by resisting it. This additional layer is brought about by the thoughts we generate and becomes additional and unnecessary suffering.
To give you an example, you are in a lengthy line that seems to be taking far too long to move and have multiple other things to tend to. You think to yourself 'I wish this line wasn't so long, I'm not going to be able to make it to my other commitments, I'm running so late' etc. This attitude will result in suffering in the form of anxiety, increasing your heart rate and blood pressure and can make you feel generally unwell. It won't make the time you spend in line go any faster and will likely result in the perception of a longer wait as well. An alternative would be to accept that you are in a long line and that unless you choose to leave what it is you are doing you must simply wait for your turn and move on to the next task. This approach is a seemingly simplistic yet highly effective way of reducing suffering.
To give a more physically based example, you are out and exposed to the elements with insufficient clothing to stay warm. You are cold, shivering, and experiencing a form of pain. You can either put up a mental layer of resistance by thinking 'I'm so cold, I hate that this is the case, I wish I was wearing something warmer or the weather was better' etc, or you can accept that the circumstances are as they are and just allow yourself to feel the cold (unless you have access to a source of warmth of course)! I am a very slight person and easily get cold, but when I truly allow myself to feel the cold, not only do I get through the situation more easily but I even develop an appreciation for the sensation (something which I was very surprised by the first time I tried this). Though shivering is a physical response to generating body heat, I find that consciously stopping myself from doing this also helps to lessen the suffering experienced.
I'd like to finish off with a more anatomical example which I think reinforces the less tangible ones before it. If your body receives a physical injury - a cut to the skin for example, focusing on the source of pain will heighten the experience - that is you will feel more pain, than by focussing on something else. If you cut your left leg, rubbing the skin on your right arm will actually decrease your minds interpretation of the suffering because not only are you not focussing on the cut, but you are also sending in a distracting message to your brain.
The next time you find yourself in a painful situation try shifting your thoughts from a resistive pattern to an accepting one and observe how it impacts your perception of the experience.
Elnaz
